Important questions to discuss:
What are the placement options?
Of these, what do my parents prefer?
What does my own family prefer?
What can we afford?
How do we negotiate any differences in our needs?
Parents should have open and ongoing communication with grown children, so their wishes are clear. This also allows for their adult children to be realistically prepared and can plan for their own future appropriately.
When discussing finances with adult children, disclosing dollar amounts is unnecessary. A general discussion will suffice, especially for the first of what should be a series of discussions.
If a sizable portion of an estate will be left to charities or individuals other than children, it’s essential to disclose this decision. Children who find out about other beneficiaries upon a parent’s death can question the intent, or harbor feelings of confusion or anger.